S4E16: Offline and On Edge: A Brief Reboot with therapist, Weena Wise

Our favorite therapist, Weena Wise, is BACK!!!! 🙌

And this time, she’s helping us decompress after Monday’s massive internet meltdown.

If you were one of the millions rebooting your Wi-Fi, restarting your life, and questioning your sanity — this one’s for you. 😂

We talk about stress, control, and finding calm when everything (literally) disconnects.

Weena reminds us that sometimes the world’s chaos is just an invitation to pause, breathe, and reconnect — with ourselves.

So plug in (if the internet’s working again 😉) and join us for some laughs, wisdom, and a mental reboot with Weena Wise!

ASK WEENA

Do you have a burning question for Weena, well ask away! You can email her at mazuri@mazuriministries.org. You can also connect with her on social media

Podcast and Blog - https://www.covenanttherapy.com/blog 

Social media - IG, FB @weenawise

https://www.covenanttherapy.com/

CONNECT WITH US

And as always, Annie and I would love to hear from you. How are you managing your stress these days? How can we pray for you? Please email us at mazuri@mazuriministries.org, or share your story with us on IG @davenialeawrites, or on FB @annieraney

And if you know someone who might benefit from this series, please share it with them. Your share might just be the hope they need!

Finally, your reviews mean the world to us, and they also assist us in spreading God's message of hope and victory across the globe! So please leave us a review on your favorite podcast player or on our Podcast Webpage 

🔗 Again, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to keep the conversation going!

Today's episode song is Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae. Please note this song is for your listening enjoyment only and cannot be downloaded or shared.

Thanks for listening! From our hearts to yours!!

Transcript

Annie: Welcome to the Didn't Ask to Be a Hero podcast.

I'm your host, Annie Raney. In each episode we will get an opportunity to see how ordinary women are now living amazing, abundant and extraordinary lives with God's help.

May their stories serve to encourage and inspire you. Let's get started.

Well, well, well, listeners. I have had quite a week and we are recording this episode the day after the big breakdown.

That's right. It felt like the whole world shut down when AWS services, that Amazon web services,

there was a malfunction, at least here on the east coast, and it affected people all over the world. I go to work and I use what's called Canvas to teach.

My classes completely shut down and my students are like, should we just go home?

Weena: And.

Annie: And I was like, no, we're going to teach the old fashioned way, like with the marker on the board and I'm going to talk to you. And they were like, what?

And the rest of the day, until 7:30pm our whole system for teaching was down. Students couldn't do assignments and teachers were like, I can't grade. I couldn't catch up on my grading.

And then I found out, of course, that was my world.

So many people were impacted in health services and education, in business,

in social media and it gave us a different kind of stress. So we have, I have stress when Canvas is working,

trying to grade and try to teach my students. And now when it wasn't working,

I got a whole nother kind of stress.

How were you on October 20, 2025 when the Internet shut down?

Well, today Divinion, I have the pleasure of having our U.S.

special.

Well, I don't even know Divinia. Would we even call her a guest now? Because she's part of us.

So to, to help us dive into.

Davenia: This, Divinia, yes, we have our own personal in house therapist. We know eyes with us. And yes,

help us wina, help us manage this stress. Just as Annie said,

life itself is stressful. But then yesterday really highlighted a whole nother level of stress. So help, help.

Weena: You two are so funny. Thanks so much for having me back.

Yesterday was a wild day for lots of us, including myself.

I use a virtual platform to do my telehealth sessions. And when Zoom goes down or in corporate America when teams goes down and people are used to having meetings stacked on top of each other where they're looking at people and talking to people and all of a sudden your video is not catching up with your audio or it just cuts off and you see the Little wheel spinning and spinning,

waiting for the connection to get back.

It's a disruption of life,

and I don't think many of us were prepared yesterday for that disruption.

So we had to default to a different way of moving.

So for myself,

when Zoom shuts down and we can't see each other on a telehealth session,

we revert to an audio if we have to,

and we just have to listen to each other's voices is funny because that's just a phone call.

We end up,

you know, just talking phone to phone,

voice to voice. And some people are not used to just having a phone call that lasts for more than, like, five minutes of logistics.

Where are we meeting? What are we doing? And particularly younger generations,

they immediately FaceTime or get on a WhatsApp or some form of video chat. Even when they want to talk to somebody via phone, they're not used to hearing without seeing.

And because of that,

it requires you to pull on a different set of skills, and it requires you to use a different sense.

Your sense of hearing versus your sight. And you can't see body language, and you have to rely on tone.

You have to be paying attention with your ears.

And that can create a different level of stress for people who are not used to communicating that way anymore. And you wouldn't think of it as a stress producer, but it is for some people.

Davenia: And just the whole notion of I can't do things the way I've always done them, so my entire routine is gone. My. And. And I don't have a fallback and I don't know how to negotiate.

Yeah. How to pivot when you have this new phenomena occurring in your life. And so that was just a snippet, but for some people who are dealing with chronic stress,

I can only imagine,

like, if I had to feel like I felt yesterday,

every day, all day,

that would be hard.

Weena: That's a good. Yeah, that's a great observation.

Annie: I. I was gonna ask Venus. I was able to kind of double back and teach my students the way I did before. Cause I've been teaching for over 20 years, and, you know, we didn't have computers and all these learning modules online, so it was okay for me to sort of switch,

but my students were. They were not used to that because they are like,

they're freshmen. So they're all 18. So their whole life since they've been in school, it's been pretty much online or, you know,

like, additional learning.

Weena: Yeah.

Annie: Yes, very much so. And I love that you brought up the FaceTime versus phone calls. Because that's all my son does. He's 18,

and all he does is FaceTime.

And so when he comes home sometimes, I'm always on the phone with my cousin, his aunts, right?

So he'll come home sometimes and he'll pick up my phone. This is maybe a couple years ago when he was, like, younger.

Weena: He picked up my phone. He.

Annie: He's like, where are they? Because I was just doing a phone.

Davenia: Call, but then FaceTiming.

Annie: And he's like, oh, oh, I'm just talking to them. And, you know, whereas when I'm on FaceTime with them, he comes in, he's like, hi. And the funny thing is, when we FaceTime,

we are actually FaceTiming. Like, we're all in there.

You can see us. Whereas I went into a room, his room, once, and my son is talking. And I was like, who are you talking? Talking to?

Davenia: Yes.

Annie: And he's like, oh,

I'm talking to my cousin. And I said, well, where is she? Because then I see his phone. She's not there. He's like, oh, she went to the kitchen to cook something.

And I'm like, yes, Then why didn't you just hang up and say, I'll call you later? He's like, no, we do that all the time.

Yes,

they operate differently. So here's a question I have for you.

I think I don't know what they are. We know. I'm hoping you help me. They're benefits to both worlds because a young patient. I mean, they can use this technology,

but then we are good at adapting if the technology disappears.

So how do you deal with either generation? Like those students freaked out with the shutdown of the Internet.

So what's some advice you can give to the different generations?

Weena: Yes, such a good point.

My daughter also facetimes without actually using face a lot.

They're just learning how to do life in the virtual presence of people having that energy without always feeling like just because the video option is there, we need to be looking at each other all the time.

So they're just doing life.

I am putting on makeup, and yes, I'm on a phone call,

but I only look into the camera when I want you to see my face and my expression or I want to show you something in the video.

They don't operate by that rule that you just talked about, which is, well, if we're on a video call, then I should be present on the call.

That's not how they use the technology.

They use the technology to feel the Energy. But they only use the video when they want to be seen.

And sometimes they'll call and never intend to be on the video because they're crying or they have their headscarf on or they're in the bathroom.

Not appropriate.

It's like being on a zoom. And you, you know, you're in a work meeting, but you don't turn your camera on because you're there to listen. So they can listen,

but they prefer to just call with the option to see a person so they can switch back and forth. To your point about whether or not they can adapt, they have the ability to adapt,

but because they've always had the option to see,

they always exercise the right to be able to see when they feel like it.

But to your point about what do we do when the world kind of crashes and we need to pivot,

I want to come back to something that I was listening to on your previous podcast episode with Dr. Erin Kinney.

She talked about how important it is for us to be able to rest,

to actually recharge our batteries and make sure that our cortisol levels aren't spiking. And we're always in a state of fight or flight. That's not a good thing.

Yesterday was an opportunity for many people to rest.

Some people didn't know what to do with themselves because they're always doing something with themselves.

And I would love to know,

you know, with those free hours or minutes that people had where they were waiting for a system to come back up or realize that it wasn't going to come back up till the evening or maybe not until today,

were they able to turn their brains off and say, instead of reverting to my to do list and just knocking 17 other things off the list,

can I just rest for a second?

Can I just do something that I want to do?

What did you two do if you had a free minute yesterday?

Oh, my goodness. I colored.

Annie: Yay.

I actually have this adult coloring book because I need bigger pictures I can't see. And I love using gel pens because I love sparkles.

And I. I actually did that. And normally I have. I haven't done it in a couple years because I don't have time. And. And it's very de stressing for me.

And I would not have done it if AWS was all working.

Weena: I love it. I love it. Divinia.

Davenia: Well, I actually got back to writing,

like,

just me and Word, you know,

and yeah, it sort of felt good to just take a break and do something.

Something I needed to do, but that I also enjoy doing.

But it took me a minute to get there when I finally realized, you know,

I can't do the things that were on my list today.

So it just took me a minute. But then once I did, yeah, it turned out to be a relaxing time.

Annie: Now, I have to say, we need. So another thing that happened was as I'm coloring, I had to actually, like, I love that Davinia said that I had to really let go.

And that wasn't easy because what I started to do was even when I first started coloring. Oh, my goodness. Okay. I was planning to grade this assignment and that assignment and this essay, and I was going to do this lesson plan.

And now that those hours have been gone and wait, can I do it tomorrow? No, because I have to do this other stuff. So when am I going to do what I was supposed to do today and can't do?

And I started double stressing over what I couldn't get done. So I didn't start relaxing like when I first started coloring.

Weena: That's right. That's right.

And I want to pull in here that there are many people who support the government right now who are furloughed and they are at home, they are not at work, and it was involuntary.

It's not something that they plan to do.

So they have this time on their hands where they're home,

and they could be in this perpetual state of stress because, of course, we're not working and getting the goals achieved that we had to get achieved professionally.

And we're not getting paid at this moment.

So what do we do?

What do we do with that time?

And I get to see how people are trying to navigate the stress of not attack.

I'm sorry, attacking the list of things to do while also seeing an opportunity at this moment to try to get their emotional and mental and physical house in order.

Because when you can't work,

that's an opportunity to rest.

It's an opportunity to reflect,

an opportunity to exercise and to be more mindful of the ways that you're eating,

sleeping,

and showing up in the world.

We had a similar season, and it was a long one where we grappled with COVID and having to be in isolation to be safe and to live.

Some of our jobs were impacted greatly,

but we couldn't deny we had a different level of time on our hands. And it was a life changer for lots of people because they finally stopped and looked around and realized,

I don't like where I live.

I don't like how my house looks. I need to make some repairs. I don't like my relationship with my children.

I don't love my relationship with my partner.

I don't like my relationship with work.

So we get small bursts of it, like yesterday, where the Internet cripples some of us, and then we've gotten some bigger bursts of it. And they're really spiritual moments where your hands are tied.

You are put in a place of paralysis, where you can't just move on society's timeline to get things done.

And then you have to freestyle.

What do you do when you're giving this opportunity and this free will to figure out what should I be doing or what could I be doing with my time that would best serve me versus what somebody else always tells me I should be doing?

Because work tells us what we should be doing. Sometimes society tells us what we should be doing.

But those are moments that we actually get to take the steering wheel and decide,

what should I be doing?

Davenia: So what are some suggestions for pivoting and navigating when you find yourself in this new space?

Weena: Yeah, the first step is actually cultivating that level of self awareness that I'm talking about. You actually have to be aware that it's a gift. When you get to shift into the driver's seat sometimes, even if it's involuntary or it happens without any warning,

just realizing, oh,

wait, I have a free hour, I have a free day. I'm going to have a free couple of weeks, or I'm going to have a free couple of months where life isn't going to be feeling like I'm on the hamster wheel at this moment.

Then I get to slow down, which is so hard for some people. That is a major ask,

slow down and think about what my body,

what my brain, what my home,

what my family and my loved ones need,

what do I need?

And for some people, that has to be a writing exercise.

What exactly is it that I need and what is it that I want to come out of this time?

And that makes it a bit more measurable and it can ground some people because our brains are constantly moving so quickly that the default is to go to the to do list.

What else can I knock off on the to do list?

But if you don't have anything restful or mindful or health centered on the to do list,

then all you'll do are the tasks.

All you'll do are the things that you would normally do that don't really pour back into you. It's always pouring out of you into something else.

So self awareness is first. Go ahead.

Annie: I know. I. I love what you said about,

like,

it's interesting when you said stop and look around. Like during COVID times when people had that two week shutdown and maybe longer,

they looked around, they're like, oh my, I have to fix this about my house or change this about my relationship. I don't like this. I don't like that.

Weena: That.

Annie: Whereas like you said, they'd be too busy just doing the tasks of the day. They would never even look at it. Okay, so that happened by accident because we were forced into that shutdown yesterday.

Me coloring and taking a moment happened by accident because I was forced to do it.

And honestly. So there's two things I want to ask you in some ways. Yesterday when I was coloring, I looked around like I was like, oh my goodness, I feel guilty.

Like I should be grading. And I was like, oh my goodness. So I wasn't totally relaxed because I started to feel guilty. Guilty or lazy because I wasn't doing my normal tasks.

And yet I actually ended up getting a lot done.

I don't know, cleansing my mind or whatever.

So how do we do that kind of thoughtful look at ourselves and our life without feeling lazy or like we're doing something wrong. And how do we do it when we're not forced to do it by a shutdown of some sort of.

Weena: Yeah.

I likened what you went through yesterday as feeling like you were sneaking.

Right, I'm sneaking and coloring. And nobody knows that I'm not being productive in the ways that I would normally be productive. I should probably be doing something to get ahead or something to try to keep myself on track.

And I just grieve over the fact that we feel that level of guilt when we do something to restore balance and bring us joy.

Because there are so many times in life where we're doing things and tasking and joy is not a factor.

So you asked,

how do we combat that? And how do we then also move to a place where we're in. We're in control of that. We're governing how we decide what to do with our time versus only having those moments of reflection and restoration when we accidentally get a free minute.

Taking control of the day and control of your life is not an easy thing to do. Otherwise I wouldn't have a job. Actually,

I teach people all the time how to do this because it's so hard to combat the machine and get off a hamster wheel.

What you shared, Annie, about the coloring and divinia what you shared about getting back to writing,

it actually required a skill.

It was a level of preparedness that you two had where you'd actually gotten in touch with something that you like to do when you're not working and tasking and you two are a bit farther ahead than some people.

Because some people didn't have anything on the list that they could quickly try to move to to bring them joy or to ground them and bring them relaxation. They haven't put the time into thinking about what they like to do.

And then for some of us, what we like to do is not easy.

We can't just pick up a coloring book and gel pens or a piece of paper and a pen. Some people want to go and have a vacation.

And you can't just jump on a plane and have a vacation sometimes.

But that's why it's important for us to actually start making the list of small,

medium and big things that we can do to ground ourselves and to bring little pockets of joy in the day.

And I say small, medium and big because when we had half a day,

we can probably do a medium thing, right? If we only have half an hour, we can only do a small thing. But if we have two or three weeks and we've planned well, then we can do a big thing.

I'm going to go back to Covid once more.

When people realized that they were going to be teleworking, I was so impressed by the number of people who got their kids passports and got their own passport and decided,

I'm living abroad for a couple of months or I'm living abroad for half a year or a year.

Some of those people never came back because it was a life changing experience.

But what clicked to them was this is a unique opportunity. And when will I ever get the chance to be able to experience this? Because when I'm on the hamster wheel every day doing life the way society has conditioned us to do life,

I'm confined by so many different things that I couldn't possibly do this,

but they did it right.

So don't be afraid to put the big things on the list. Things like bucket list, things that will bring you joy.

Because preparedness is about knowing what needs to happen when an opportunity presents itself and then having planned for it.

So we have to plan for our joy and plan for being grounded and plan for moments when we can be mindful and relax and do something that's fun and energizing as much as we plan for all the things that drain and suck energy from Us every single day.

How's that landing on you, too?

Davenia: Oh, no, I absolutely agree and love that.

I love lists.

I do. And I love charts and I love checking. And yeah, so I put those moments of joy on my list. And so learning to prioritize, you know, just like this morning, I was running late, but I said, even if I have to cut my walk short,

I'm still going to walk because I know that that brings me some joy and some pleasure.

And so I like how you said we have to prioritize our joy and, and, and make it a part of your routine.

I also have had bucket lists.

And, and so then I'm intentional about. Okay, it may not happen now or this year, but I love having those big things to aspire to.

Weena: And it's really important to speak to people who don't like to plan and who don't really feel like they have the time, but really want to be prepared. The way I'm talking about the golden rule that I teach people who feel so overwhelmed and stressed in their daily life is that exhaustion is the enemy of creativity.

Exhaustion is the enemy of inspiration.

So sometimes people don't have bucket lists or they don't have small, medium, or big joyful activities, and they don't know what grounds them and what makes them happy because they're in this perpetual state of exhaustion.

Any creative who has ever aspired to write a book or make some form of art or share a poem knows that when you don't have rest,

when you're so bogged down with tasking, that the art or the creative or the inspirational thing only gets the rest of you, not the best of you, is so hard to produce.

It's so hard to produce.

So I'm talking to people who are in that negative feedback loop where I want to be prepared the way you're talking about wena to take advantage of these great things.

But I'm just trying to. Drained and drained and drained to the point where I've lost my inspiration or I can't seem to find my creativity, or I can't really approach making a list of fun stuff like this because I'm always trying to just get a hold of the day or the week.

Yeah, it's always a challenging thing when you're tired to be prepared because the day is always coming at you versus you being in control of the day.

So when I say that it's no small feat that we really try to get enough rest and take moments like yesterday when you have this little pocket of time to rest.

And you two did it gloriously.

You have to take the rest. And I think Dr. Erin Kinney said that as well.

Because if you don't take the time to rest,

then ultimately you're stuck in this cycle of,

okay, how do I get to a better place where I can get a hold of my anxiety or get a hold of my stress?

So the things that we preach, they seem like they're all the same. We're always talking about sleep, always talking about diet, always talking about lists, always talking about mindfulness. But they really do make an impact.

So I want to talk about some joyful things that we can do daily. You know, as, as we're probably bringing this to a close and it's going to be different for everybody, obviously.

But as you've been listening today,

we've heard a couple of examples of coloring. Annie, I love that you said, and I need the big print.

Right?

Davenia: That's.

Weena: I just prefer it. I like to do crossword puzzles.

My sister loves,

believe it or not, the hidden pictures from the highlights kids magazines.

It's just something that stuck with her all of her life. And so sometimes as a treat, I will buy her a hidden pictures book. And when she's not doing her big job in corporate America, she just sits and looks for all of the cherries in a pict or circles the sock.

Right. She found the Christmas tree. It was hidden on the bookshelf.

But these are the things that are mindless and bring us joy from childhood.

And that's a big piece. Think about some of the things that brought you joy from childhood. If it's roller skating, if it's hopscotch, if it's double Dutch, if it's just hanging out with friends and getting ice cream on try in your small time or, or your medium time to fit some of those little joys in getting back in touch with our youthfulness is so important because that's usually where the purity and the joy was.

And a lot of us had trauma in our youth, but we also had some bright moments that helped us to get by and escape. And so being able to tap into that is very important,

I think.

Davenia: Annie, don't you play volleyball now?

Annie: Oh, once a week. And you know, I like to call it, compared to how I played 20 years ago, geriatric volleyball. But I'm moving my feet.

Weena: Yes,

I love it. And I'll go get a 30 minute massage.

Nothing fancy. I'm not talking about the $200 massages at the really high end spas when I can Pop for that. You know, that's a great.

But some of these pop up spas and relaxation places, even in the mall will give you a quick tune up. 15 minutes for 20 bucks, 30 minutes for 30 bucks,

your body will thank you just to sit in one of those massage chairs and let somebody work out the knots in your neck and your upper back. Who knows what I'm talking about here?

Davenia: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Or take a bubble bath with, you know,

like everything doesn't have to cost. There are things you can just do, you know, put the kids to bed early one night and just sit in the tub with some music.

Weena: Agreed. Agreed. And for people who have a different kind of stress because they're in debt,

for people who have perpetual stress because they're in debt or they don't know exactly where to even start with that,

sometimes getting in YouTube University and setting aside 30 minutes to an hour to research a financial influencer or guru who's offering a free class on how to start to get a grasp on your finances, how to do estate planning, how to leave a will.

Those things actually bring a sense of peace and calm to people who constantly feel this inner turmoil because they know that their finances aren't in order.

And stress coming from money problems is one of the leading factors that cause divorce in relationships.

And so we cannot rule out how important it is to sometimes just step back and get some education that will help you to pull yourself out of a hole.

Sometimes knowledge is what helps people to find joy in their life because it puts them on a path to that helps them to get to a place of stability where their mind can actually finally rest.

Davenia: Or you can listen to a great podcast like this.

Weena: True.

Davenia: 30 minutes. And there you go. Find your joy.

Annie: Find your joy indeed.

So listeners, I want to leave you with a few a few thoughts.

We always like to use scripture as inspiration. And you know, yesterday was in some ways kind of scary when we have the unexpected thrown our way.

Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds us to be strong and of a good courage. Fear not, nor be afraid of them. For the Lord thy God he it is that doth go with thee.

He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. So God is always there in the expected moments and the unexpected moments.

And as Wena reminded us, sometimes in resting and taking a moment without guilt, you can reflect and see things you may have otherwise been too busy and too stressed to realize perhaps needs a little bit of change to make you healthier and happier and maybe even a little less stressed.

And Sometimes. Sometimes life is so busy that you have to actually plan the joy in your life.

I'm reminded of the lyrics of a very popular song by, I believe it's Leanne Womack.

The title of this song is called I hope you dance. And in it there's some words that she sings. Time is a wheel in constant motion Always rolling us along.

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone? And the tagline of the song, she says,

when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,

I hope you dance. And so, listeners, I hope you dance and find your joy.

Weena: From our heart to yours, this song's for you.